- Moderator check in?
- June 5th, 2016
I know I've been hiding, which was different from my previous prolific writings. I have really fallen behind as a moderator. I was collecting ideas and tried to get the motivation going, but it just kept knocking me down.
I wanted to check in here. It's been almost two years since my job collapsed, and we've been struggling financially. I just lost another job a few months ago, and now I need to fold my private practice. However! I was recently offered a job that might get us back on track financially, and I think it'll ease my mind immensely. I canceled my gym pass last week because between the financial struggles and the fear of my shoulder/disc injury, I couldn't validate the $40/month. It sounds so small, but at this point, it'd be better used toward our mortgage.
I used to relish what this community has done for me over the years. While I have horribly fallen off the wagon, I realized that my weight has stabilized. It sits around 240. I know ideally, I would like to be down to 180, but would gladly settle at 200.
I want to give this community a boost, and especially because I kinda need a boost. I read all of your posts when they come up here, and at times, I feel bad for myself. I remember posting my small victories or the NSV or the times where I made good choices, and this overwhelming sense of something (Shame? Depression? Disappointment?) would come over me.
Now that school is over (holy crap, guys, I graduated graduate school!), I feel as though I'll have the brainspace to check in here more often. Maybe write more often. I wanted to see if folks were still around and if we wanted to do something. Either organize an actual challenge or just simply check into support for each other. I know I had originally talked about hosting a group messaging thing online (through AIM or something because I'm old school), and I didn't know if that was still something folks wanted to do?
In short, I miss y'all. I want to be back on the wagon. At this point, there is a small flicker of hope in my life, and I know it's there even when I blink. I just need to hold onto it, and I wanted to put my hand out to see if folks still read this and also would be interested in offering support again. To celebrate in our victories. To be honest with our shortcomings and support each other through it. To realize we're all on this journey together and we're all human while we do it.